Two Little Words
by Azi
Summary: I just stood there as the words sank in. It's amazing how two words can change your life.


Note: This was inspired by a story I read a couple years ago to which I wasn't fond of the ending. Sadly, I can't remember what it was called or who wrote it. Long story short, you don't really need to read that story and this one takes place after it, but the defining moment of the story this one is based on is mentioned.

_Two Little Words_

by

Azi

I just stood there as the words sank in.

"It doesn't matter how much you don't like Japan, we've got business to attend to there. You have to go."

I couldn't believe my mother just insisted that I go back to Japan. I haven't been there for five years. I suppose that's nothing like the ten years before it but, that time I wanted to go back.

Things changed after I returned from that trip. The clan actually accepted that I probably would never marry or have children. I arranged for all my nephews to be trained – I would pick my successor when they were old enough for me to know their character. Everyone was healthy and happy except me. I was just beginning to live my life as a shattered man and I was only twenty-one.

It's amazing how much two words can change your life. I say life altering things almost every day: 'you're hired,' 'you're fired,' we're through.' Most times, those words won't shatter your dreams and take away your main reason for living. 'I'm engaged.' Two simple words that robbed me of everything I ever wanted and made my world fall apart. No wonder I hate Japan: she's there…with her husband.

'I'm engaged.' Those words coming from her lips and the look in her eyes as she said them still haunt my dreams. The ring I had taken with me is lost somewhere among my things, but I'm sure I can find it in two minutes of I put my mind to it. It's not like I was going to propose to her right there but, I had intended to stay longer than I did. I was going to tell her I loved her, stay for months – maybe years – then propose and give her the ring I had gotten made especially for her. That was the dream but, it always got cut off by the same two words.

I sighed. My mother had long since left the room. She knew I would eventually accept her demand; I was, after all, her most responsible child. I always did my duty. Shaking the memory of her eyes from my head, I left for my room to do the only thing I could do: pack.

* * *

One thing about business meetings is that they keep your mind occupied. I've been in Japan for a day and since I woke up this morning, I've only thought about Sakura five times. Most of those were while I was getting dressed and eating my breakfast. The rest were during lunch. Of course, my mother didn't help when she suggested that I spend the afternoon tracking down my old friends.

We were in Tokyo. 'Only a bus ride form Tomoeda,' my brain started calculating the probability of finding Sakura while I finished eating. As I took my last bite, I came to the conclusion that if I didn't try, then I wouldn't find her, That seemed like the perfect idea to me. I wasn't sure if I was ready to see her happy with her husband. I hadn't even gone to her wedding. I caught myself wondering if she had forgiven me for not going or if she had even noticed that I wasn't there. I needed to get out of there and fast.

I excused myself to go pay our lunch bill. After flipping through my wallet for a few moments, I pulled out a credit card that I rarely used. With it came a piece of paper. I handed my card over, and then picked up the paper – it was Sakura's business card. I knew then that whatever great power existed was bent on torturing me. I barely remember signing my receipt before giving my mother a rushed apology and running out of the restaurant.

I had gone from a shattered workaholic to a man possessed. I had no idea what came over me but, when I saw that card, I knew I had to see Sakura one last time. Maybe I thought that seeing her happy would help me let go. I must have been crazy. The card was five years old; she could be working somewhere else by now.

Being unacquainted with the majority of Tokyo, I took a while to find the building indicated of the little piece of paper that had become my life preserver. I stood on the sidewalk for a minute, just looking up at the building. 'This is where Sakura works.' I composed myself immediately before breaking the image I wished to convey by rushing through the doors.

A girl sitting at a reception desk looked up as I entered. She looked tired as she asked if she could help me. I tried my best to smile as I began to ask for Sakura but, froze when I realized something. I didn't listen to her in that café five years ago. I didn't go to her wedding. I have no idea what her surname is now. I cursed under my breath and tried to smile again.

"Well you see I have this friend who used to work in this building. You'll probably think I'm crazy. She got married and I didn't go to the wedding. I haven't talked to her in five years. God, I have no idea what her name is now but, I was wondering if she still wor-"

"Syaoran?" A light voice I would recognize anywhere called out to me.

I turned slowly, not sure if I wanted to believe my ears. This was the moment of truth. I would see how happy she was, then go back to Hong Kong and resume my wish that I had never left Japan when I was eleven. "Sakura?"

I barely got a chance to see her before she had her arms around me saying, "It is you! I've missed you and Meilin so much. How come you never wrote or called?"

A voice from the desk saved me from answering, "I guess you found her." The receptionist smiled as she looked at us.

"Thanks." I turned back to Sakura with my mind reeling. This is not what I expected at all.

"hey, Sakura? Are you okay? You didn't hug me like this the last time you saw me."

She broke away and looked up at me. I noticed that she wasn't glowing like she used to – something was wrong. "Do you have some time?"

I nodded only to find myself being dragged to the elevator. I assumed we were going to her office.

* * *

I don't know how long we were talking; I had totally lost all concept of time the moment I saw her again. All I knew was that I was in the company of the most amazing woman alive.

We covered all the unimportant topics while I admired her office. I checked out all the details form the cherry wood wainscoting to the burgundy and green décor. Truthfully, I was looking for signs of her husband – a picture, anything – but, I found none. I still didn't even know his name.

Finally we ran out of small talk. We had pushed our safe topics to the limit and were at the point of either broaching the less safe topics or parting again for countless more years. I hated fate for making me wait so long for such short periods of happiness. I wasn't ready to let go yet so I decided to jump in the deep end. I opened my mouth to ask her my ultimate question – at least at this point – but once again, she beat me to the punch.

"Syaoran, why didn't you write to me?" I could detect a hint of sorrow in her voice.

"I couldn't."

"Oh don't give me that! I know very well that you're the clan leader now. Aside from killing yourself, there's nothing they can stop you from doing if you wanted to. So why didn't you write to me?" I could hardly believe she was mad. I didn't think I meant enough to her for her to care.

"No. Not 'I wasn't allowed.' I couldn't. I couldn't write to you. I couldn't call you. I couldn't go to your wedding and see you happy with someone else. Just like how through the whole ten years before I saw you the lat time, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I couldn't. I couldn't read a letter from you or listen to your voice telling me how happy you were with someone who wasn't me."

I stopped and silence fell between us. I couldn't believe I had just said that. I don't think she could either. I sucked in a deep breath. She go her answer, it was my time I got mine.

"Are you happy Sakura?"

A knock at the door interrupted her before she could start. A man entered the room but, I didn't turn to look at him. He intruded on my time with Sakura and it annoyed me. There was a moment's silence and I could only imagine him eyeing me in an attempt to figure out why I was in Sakura's office.

"Sakura," I was thankful she didn't notice my grimace when he spoke her name like that, "our three o'clock is waiting in the boardroom downstairs."

"Your three o'clock is waiting in the boardroom, you only drag me along to these meetings to give the men something to look at." I couldn't tell whose indignation was greater: hers or mine. "You know perfectly well that I can handle our partners and clients but, you never allow me to be anything more than a distraction. Now go take care of your business and leave me to my guest."

Once more, I felt his eyes on me before he turned and left the office. Sakura shut the door behind him as a thick silence settled in. Unable to bear it, I turned around to find her leaning against the wall. I watched her for a few seconds and then rose from my seat to cross the room to her. When I got there, I didn't know what to do so I just stood there looking down at her. My instincts got the better of me as one of my hands reached out to comfort her.

"No."

My hand stopped in mid-reach. I stood, stunned by her reaction before I remembered she was married. What a fool I was thinking she'd want me to take care of her when, somewhere, she had a husband who would make all her pain go away. I turned away with my head hung low, too embarrassed to look her in the eyes.

"No," I felt her hand on my arm, "I'm not happy."

I froze and just waited. I could feel her shaking slightly as she rested her forehead on my back. At that moment, I felt more protective of her than I ever had during our time both together and apart when we were younger. I still hated to see or hear her cry.

There was nothing I could do but turn around and pull her into my arms. She belonged there and right then I didn't are if she had ten husbands, I would hold onto her as if she were mine. If she were my wife, she wouldn't be unhappy and crying in someone else's arms. She'd be in mine. Always.

I guided her to the deep green leather love seat and sat down, pausing only long enough to toss a blue throw cushion somewhere else. She buried her head in my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my neck as she continued to cry. I rubbed her back, and whispered that everything would be okay. I couldn't help it, just like I couldn't help running my fingers through her hair in an attempt to sooth her. I tried not to use my thumb to wipe away her tears in a caress I couldn't afford. I worked hard to refrain from kissing the tear tracks on her cheeks – it wouldn't be enough. Nothing was enough.

Just the smell of her made me crazy enough to pull her closer and bury my head in her hair. At least it was intoxicating enough to get my mind off kissing her tears. I didn't notice she had stopped crying until she shifted herself so she was sitting on my lap. One of her hands rested on my chest while the other sent shockwaves through me as she absently played with the hair at the nape of my neck. If she didn't know before how much power she had over me, there was no was she could deny it now.

She drew in a long breath, the kind that lets you know that whatever's coming next is both important and hard to say. The hand on my chest slid up to cup my face where she used it to force me to look at her. Whatever she wanted to say next, I almost didn't want to hear it. What could be harder than knowing she'd been married and unhappy since the last time I saw her?

"We never married." Her eyes searched mine for a reaction but I was too stunned to give her one – that was the one thing that could be worse. "We worked together, and I guess you could say I convinced myself I was in love with him. Days before the wedding, I found out that he was just using me to impress his clients and really only wanted me as a trophy wife he could show off. I wouldn't stand for it and called the whole thing off in the middle of the ceremony. You never came. I thought you didn't care so I made them promise not to tell you. I spent the last few yours imagining you as married and starting a family and here I as still working with the man who used me because I thought no one else would hire me."

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against hers. This was almost too much to take. I couldn't decide what to react to first: my anger over his actions, my relief that she wasn't married, or my sorrow over the years we didn't need to spend apart. Everything just hit me at once and all I could do was pull her closer and bury myself in her until I could breathe again. Until I knew what to say first.

Finally, "Five years." I said quietly. "God, Sakura, five years with misery, and anger, and rejection. Five years without you. I should have gone to your wedding, I should have written. How could we do this to ourselves? How could he do that to you? I could kill him for hurting you like this. I should probably do the same to myself."

Sakura reached out and grabbed my face and forced me to look at her again. "You will not."

I started to protest, began to ask why I shouldn't hurt the guy for putting her through so much. I wanted him to feel as rotten as I felt, as rotten as he is. He deserved it.

She stopped me before I got even one coherent word out, "I spent fifteen years without you, most of them wondering where you were and what you were doing, I will not have you hurting yourself now that I know where you are. I'd rather you be alive and somewhere else than know exactly where you are but never be able to see you or hear you again." A few tears slipped down her cheeks as she spoke and this time, without thinking of it, I ran my thumbs along her cheeks, relishing the feel of her skin beneath my hands.

"You'll always know where I am Sakura. I swear, not a day will go by when you won't hear my voice. The first time I left you was torture, the second was even worse. I'm not going through that again. I promise I'll always be close."

This time she closed her eyes as she shook her heard. "Please Syaoran, don't make promises that you can't keep. I know you're only here on business and that when you're done you'll go back to Hong Kong. Don't promise you'll be near when I already know you won't."

"Sakura," I shifted as I waited for her to open her eyes. "Sakura, look at me…please."

Slowly, she opened her eyes. I had a feeling she was scared of what she would see. Her face was tense with apprehension.

I let out a light sigh. "Please Sakura." Her eyes flicked up to mine for a second and then away again before she finally locked her eyes with mine. "If you won't accept that promise, will you at least let me make another one?"

"That depends on what it is," she said softly. "I don't want to get hurt again."

I stood up as I spoke, "I don't ever want to hurt you, Sakura." I held my hand out to her to help her stand. "Some with me and I'll show you what I mean."

She hesitated and I began to worry she wouldn't come with me. Then I began to worry that I wouldn't know how to get back to the hotel I had spent the previous night in. Her hand slipped into mine and I noted how just her touch could push all my worries to the back of my mind. Through my rush of joy, I couldn't believe I was about to do what I had just planned.

I let go of her hand long enough for her to put on her coat and grab her purse. As soon as she had her things, I reached for her hand again. Hand in hand, we descended to the ground floor and walked straight out the main doors. Whatever comment the receptionist made, I missed because all my attention was on Sakura.

We were almost to the hotel when Sakura turned to me and said, "By the way, he's in the boardroom with our three o'clock."

For a second, I had no idea what she was talking about but, then it registered. The man she didn't marry was the same man who interrupted us earlier. The man whose ruined wedding I didn't go to and whose name I never knew was the same man I didn't bother to turn around to look at while he talked to my Sakura. That's right, my Sakura, not his.

"It doesn't matter," I said as I smiled down at her.

I barely responded to the hotel staff we passed on the way to the executive suite I shared with my mother. Only one thing was on my mind now: where had I put that box. I didn't know why I had brought it with me in the first place, but now I was glad I had.

We entered the room after I fumbled with the keycard for a minute. Once I had the door shut and chained behind us, I led Sakura to a chair in the common area.

"Just stay there for a moment, I'll be right back." I nearly bolted into my room to dig through the bags I had brought with me. I found the tiny box in a pocket of my suitcase. I stared at it for a second before opening it and checking what was inside. Perhaps this wasn't the setting or the timing I had planned on, but it seemed like the only thing I could do.

Sakura was staring at her fingernails when I came back out. "What's going Syaoran? What are we doing here?" I could only imagine what she was thinking. I hoped I hadn't scared her.

I smiled to reassure her, "You'll see." I slipped the box into a pocket before kneeling on the floor in front of her. I reached up and ran a hand along her cheek before sliding my hand down her arm to lay on top of her hand.

"Fifteen years ago, I heard what I considered then, the two most awful words in the world: 'come home.' I didn't want to leave but, I had no choice. For the next ten years, I learned so many two word combinations that could rearrange a person's world but, I didn't pay them any attention because my thoughts were focused on one thing – getting back to you. Five years ago, I finally made it back and my whole world opened before me for a day. Then I heard two more words that were even worse than the first two. You said them that day and shattered all my plans for the future. Do you remember what those two words were, Sakura?"

She nodded and whispered, "I'm engaged."

"That's right. At that point, I started living for the family business and not for myself. As far as I was concerned, I had no future because you weren't in it." She opened her mouth to say something but, I stopped her. "Two days ago, my mother turned my life upside-down when she told me we were coming to Japan – the one place I had avoided for the past five years. You've been haunting me ever since. Not even an hour ago, you changed my life again by telling me that you never married the guy who I thought had stolen my life. Them you wouldn't let me promise to always be close to you."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the little wooden box. "I brought this with me five years ago with plans of promising you my life – my love. I took it home with me five years ago wondering why you didn't want me. I don't know why I brought it with me this time – I just couldn't leave it behind – but, I'm glad I did bring it." I opened the box.

"The thing is, Sakura, I still love you and I want to promise you my life, my love, our future. I want to promise to always be near. I want to promise you everything, if only you'd agree to take it."

* * *

I just stood there as the words sank in. There was no question I was in shock. I slowly sank into the chair behind me as I started thinking about how two little words could change your life.

From somewhere beyond my body I heard a voice say, "I told you to sir down for the news." The voice was light and full of laughter: Sakura.

I smiled as I emerged from the fog that had clouded both me brain and my vision. Sure, I was surprised, but the way I saw it my life was right on track. I heard Sakura and my sisters laugh as they left me alone to my thoughts.

It really is amazing how much two words can change your life. I used to think only bad things came from them. Words like 'come home,' 'you're fired,' 'it's over,' and 'I'm engaged' only hurt me and the people around me. Then everything changed. Two little words changed my world yet again: 'of course!' That's what she said when I asked her to marry me. After that, I heard the words 'I'm engaged' for weeks and I only got happier. Finally she said 'I do,' and I thought life couldn't get any better. That was a few months ago.

Today, though, I heard two more words that could only make my world better. My wife stood in front of me, simply glowing as she said, "I'm pregnant."


End file.
